Merry Blogs!

Have any of you ( when I say you...I use it quite loosely because... barely anyone reads this blog) ever had the feeling that your friends are subconsciously trying to sabotage something about you?

Anyhow, it's Christmas time and I don't know if it's the meds or something else but I haven't had any Christmas cheer. This is unusual for me. I'm not by any means a Clark Griswold but, I do (or did?) enjoy the music, baking, snow, parties, ugly sweaters and the occasional ringing of the bell for charity! Not this year though...I can't seem to get moving to somewhere warm off my mind, find myself changing the radio station when "Baby It's Cold Outside" comes on and haven't even rolled out the Christmas cookies yet while watching The Muppet Christmas Carol!

On the topic of Christmas...while I was shopping with two girlfriends downtown the other day...the Christmas music was blaring in every store and we started discussing certain songs..such as We Wish You a Merry Christmas and decided the lyrics to the song were unusually forceful..First of all, they literally demanding figgy pudding then declaring they're not going to leave that GD party till they get some. We found ourselves quite hilarious and guffawed in the store. It reminded me of when my brother and I were listening to Baby It's Cold Outside and he decided to rewrite some of the lyrics.... imagine them in a sing-song voice....

 I really can't stay
(but baby it's cold outside)
I've got to go away
(but baby it's cold outside)
You're hurting my arm....
(been hoping that you'd drop in)
Put down the gun you're drunk....
(i'll hold your hands, they're just like ice)
Please let go of my arm....

Well, Mele Kalikimaka....

Ohhhh bloggering

Food seems to be the topic of a lot of people's blogs lately. I'm still struggling to find my niche and I know it won't be about food because I just simply don't know enough. If you looked in my fridge right now I wouldn't even be able to throw together a complete meal. You could have mayo mixed with activia yogurt and some olives cut up into it. When it comes to the freezer...it's straight up ice and alcohol and there is literally nothing in our cupboards but eating utensils.

The only thing it really does for my roommate and I is prevent us from eating when we're not really hungry. If we're really hungry we'll venture home or out to eat...some times one of us will venture out to one of our homes and bring home some rations...popcorn...apples...yogurt and the occasional plate of food.

I recall so many times coming home from the bars (which are conveniently placed only two or three blocks away) LP and I devoured a big caesar salad with our hands...and there are of course the nights where we went as far as to prepare things for ourselves...probably not a good idea after drinking considering we use ovens, microwaves and knifes.

I used to live in a house with 5 other girls. It got a little hectic every now and then but, one of my favorite quotes of all time came from a long night of drinking and we just got home from a party...

Upstairs Roomie K 1 slurring: Someone....boil some...water...
Basement Roomie C: Why?
URK1: Just in case...someone has..a ..baby.
BCR: K no one is going to have a baby!
URK1: Then lets make buttered noodles!

Amen sister.

There were two rooms upstairs, a kitchen, bathroom, living room and an attic then in the basement was a laundry room (that was peed in...then a couple weeks later a guy passed out on the floor in there thinking it was a bedroom...wrong.) another kitchen, a small bedroom (mine...it smell weird and was always cold...seemed to also be a breeding area for spiders) then off of the kitchen was another bedroom which was connected to another bedroom which was connected to our bathroom. So every time I had to pee...I had to walk through two people's room and disturb them sleeping, crying (which wasn't weird in our house), studying or changing...fun! I think the best part of our house was all the parties we had...I remember agreeing with all the girls that 'We are not going to have a party house! This'll be great! We're going to love it!' Hugs, kisses, kittens and roses! We were all wrong of course but, at the same time I wouldn't trade living with those girls in that house for anything.

Here's a fun list of things that happened while living in the beloved house
-railings ripped off our wall
-falling down the basement stairs
-someone passing out in a pee stained laundry room
-electricity randomly going out
-heat randomly turning off in the dead. of. winter. and our landlords refusing to send someone...God Bless 'em
-finding a street sign in our backyard by the same boy who pulled off our railing, peed in the laundry room, put a burning pumpkin on our front doorstep and started several million fights (both physical and yelling matches) and took money from my room then later texted me "thanks for the money"
-waking up finding puke on one of our couches
-finding several bikes and chairs in our garage that didn't belong to any of us...
-girl fights...guy fights...girl fights...and more girl...fights
-Two Ryans fighting and another Ryan trying to break the fight up while a whole jar of Ragu gets knocked over and goes all over the place...
-Getting a black eye
-finding remnants of feces left in the bathroom...and random underwear...
-cops busting our last party before we all went home and URK1 using her fake i.d. to get out of it...Bravo Moorhead cops...and so much more...

Blogplasty

So much has happened since my last post but, most is irrelevant to my blog. I must add though, a special shout out to my Grandma Doris who passed away on the 2nd.

At the funeral I felt the eulogy was a little lacking. Here's the most famous line, "I can picture Doris in heaven dancing in a bed of flowers with little dogs nipping at her feet." Really? Because, I can't. My grandma was the definition of sweet. She loved pink, ballet, flowers and animals. Even into her old age she adored her grandchildren. I spent a lot of my childhood in her house coloring with my Grandpa, eating sweets, playing with their neighbor, picking pea pods in their garden and playing. Something that resonates in my mind is my grandmother's singing...it was almost constant...always humming or making up songs (and poetry too!)...That and I also vividly remember her peanut butter and butter sandwiches and her being appalled at whatever trashy television show I would be watching. Tis all beside the point, she was a great lady and someone who should be remembered. Rest in Peace Grandma :)

I think I've finally decided what I'm going to write about...TV/Books/Movies with maybe, a dash of something else here and there. I'm still experimenting. SO, first up...I'm horrified to admit I've been watching...Bridalplasty. It's exactly what it sounds like...a show about brides competing for plastic surgery. It's absolutely ridiculous and obviously pure enjoyment. I'm a total hypocrite when it comes to this stuff. When myself and some friends tuned in I made a statement and got up and left the room saying, "It's DISGUSTING how they glorify this on television." Flash back to me a week earlier defiantly saying, "I want breast implants." When I found out my cup size had shrunk from a c to a b. Disappointing but, I'll deal. Anyhow, this isn't one of my prouder moments (not much of my television viewing is...The Real Housewives...Bad Girls Club...Really anything that involves insecurity issues and taking them out on others.) If you've never heard of these three shows no worries because I've come well equipped and prepared several links for you to learn more about them and their trashiness. 

Bridalplasty on E

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (I'm actually partial to the wives of OC, New Jersey and New York)

Season 5 of Bad Girls Club is done...and now I'm patiently waiting for season 6

I have to say though I'm a little jealous of 'bad girls' they can stand up for themselves like it's nobodies business...If I had a one wish at the very moment it would be to win a ton of money BUT, my second wish would be to party with some bad girls...Tanisha would be at the very top of my list. TANISHA 

Pop. Off.

Blog Dog

I'm reading a New York Times Bestseller right now...it's called The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. It's a story told by a dog who is recapping his life with his family the night before he is put down...It's pretty good except for I can't stand the dogs personality and his owner is a race car driver. I'm all about not knocking something till you try it but, I will never be a fan of racing...Sure, there are some good looking men in the 'sport' but..I don't care about cars and how fast they can go around a track. So basically I skim over anything that has to do with racing. Anyhow, the dog's personality is exactly what you'd expect. Enzo, the dog, is loyal and can understand what the humans are saying to him...he's there when you're sad and even nudges you to show he understands. A bit unrealistic if you ask me but endearing.

I grew up with animals all around the house iguanas, cats, many different dogs, lizards, fish, hamsters, guinea pigs (Noisiest purchases evah...ok, just sound this out eeeeeeeeee eeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeee...silence.....EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and that's exactly what you hear from those things from the time you wake up till the time you go to bed...if you can fall asleep...Needless to say, we sold them) , mice, rats, a horse...and the list could go on and on. Currently my parents are VERY proud parents of a neurotic chihuahua who was a rescue name Smartie and an aging, and not aging gracefully might I add, pom/chihuahua mix lovingly named Bino...

Poor Bino...he's wrapped a little tight...Smartie was thrown into his house years back and he wasn't happy about it...still isn't. Proving that fact is the little tussle I just broke up between the two last time I was at my parents...and every time the blame is placed on Bino who trots away from the fights with his teeth chattering.

Recently my brother was home visiting and we spent the day together at my parents. We made cookies, watched the classiest show on television...Bad Girls Club and got to hang out. We noticed Bino not galavanting in his usual ways and my brother pointed out the fact that he's ten years old and getting old. Made me think of the days I use to lock him in my room with me to 'play' which was really just torture for him. It's sad to think of the day he'll pass on. People who don't have a connection with animals are really missing out in something essential in life. Bino has been a constant in my life...some times you forget about those constants who are always there..He's been through three kids moving out of the house, deaths, marriages (Ok...not going to lie we shipped the dogs off to a doggie daycare the weekend of my sister's wedding), boyfriends, fights, loud music and he's never not loved us. He's always been there and that's exactly why I love him so much.

Am I crazy? Yes. Dog crazy.

This link will make anyone (dog lover or not) cry their little eyes out. I dare you not to...
Oden

Blog Distress

I've been so scared to start a blog. Mostly because I am always afraid of being wrong about something even in my own opinions (is that possible??).

I'd like to blame my sister. She's perfect and not only perfect but she's eco-friendly...If I could define her childhood in two words they'd have to be "Free Willy". She seriously cared more about recycling, saving the world and endangered species than she did about how she looked. Picture this...roller blades, shorts pulled up to her chest, helmet and lets not forget...hands on the hip. You have to picture this in the late 80's...and she looks sassy...sassy about saving the environment.

She was a nerd. She still is but, I do not judge because a lot of it rubbed off on me and my brother, who is stuck between us. Nerd or not my sister is gorgeous, funny and extremely likable which is why I find it so easy to pick on her. Anyhow, lucky me, I picked up on my sisters habit of speaking your mind except, I'm not as smart as she is. Double. Whammy.

Fast forward a few years where I am in high school. Where I keep butting heads with my former best friend who also happens to be a guy. He has the sharpest tongue on anyone I know and for the size he is..he really shouldn't. He's probably 5'9, skinny as a pole and long hair that he swoops to the side.  Whenever I would try to stand up to him or voice my opinion he would shoot me down so quick, come up with some retort and make me feel so small, so EMBARRASSED, that finally I just shut my mouth. (Which for me...takes a lot...)

So honestly, when I think about making this blog public his face comes to my mind and I imagine how many horrible things he could say and what he could make fun of...By the way did I mention he has a beer belly now? Yeah, he's also dating someone in high school still...not to say that measures anything in life but, it makes me feel just a little better. Oh yeah, we're friends now too. Sad...Who gave up, me or him!?